The Empire Strikes Black

The Arrival of Cozzi

After the first installment proving to be a resounding success, I deemed it only right/fair to my fans that I hit them up with a second installment of the thoughts of Gosport's finest. Having been in Thailand for a total of 45 days now, I have learned several things about both the world, and more importantly myself. But thankfully the deep, self-evaluating time (even though it possesses great long-term enlightenment, is very taxing) was put on hold with Emma coming out to see me. (Pictured)

Peace of Mind

With Emma being here, my mind and all of it's swarming self-involved thoughts were able to gain some respite. My liver, stomach and self-dignity however, took a hit. We spent three and a half weeks devouring masses of cheeky little dishes in street vendors up and down the country. And, ooooooobviously, to complement these insanely amazingly tasting treats, you need a drink (or two, or three, or as many as the human physiology can possibly handle).

 Elephants, Jungles and Waterfalls

Alongside the consumption of anything and everything in sight, we also consumed a whole lot of culture and adventure. We went North to take in the sights of Chiang Mai (technically the most South-Easterly part of the famed Himalayas) where we rode an elephant for a while, following this we ventured through the jungle until we came to a waterfall. And, boy what a waterfall. We swam in the plunge-pool at the base for a while. So relaxing. Post this, we went white-water rafting and bamboo rafting, both were incredible, but was left wanting for a more engaging experience. It was great fun, but was clearly aimed at tourists (which is fair enough) and not for those who looked for a potential hospital trip (or the threat of one).

Diving for Whalesharks

Having being landlocked for approximately a month, we deemed it necessary to hit a beach or two. This mission was well and truly accomplished by smashing up the beautiful island of Koh Tao. Beautiful place, full of divers and not much else. This at first seems awesome. Divers are fun-loving, engaging, open people who are deeply passionate about their "occupation". If however, you are not a natural diver and fully encompass their actions and character traits, it can be a little much to take. I am not a diver. I have dived and did very much enjoy the experience, but I fully understand my limitations. I struggled massively with the whole notion of being underwater (and more crucially, the unnatural act of solely mouth-breathing). The main reason for this was that as a child, when living in Spain I almost drowned as a result of being too brash and cocky in thinking I could swim like Phelps. All completely my own fault, it was where they hold European Windsurfing Championships. Tumultuous conditions to say the least.  During our dives we were very blessed to see a whale shark, two in fact. Apparently, seeing one of these is the holy grail of diving. Some divers go hundreds of dives without seeing one. Such large (8m's approx) graceful creatures swimmingly merely 3m's from my face. I must add, I did literally wet myself. Not as a result of seeing the shark but I was simultaneously watching the shark whilst urinating. I must add our instructor Donny was a God send. I almost removed myself from the practice pool as I was panicking underwater. However, one quick game of rock, paper, scissors underwater and the place felt like a second home.

Chilling

After a full-on 4 days on Koh Tao which involved a mental and physical workout. I am Mr Humble, but I must say I did get the highest theory test score that the school has produced. Well, just too good aren't I? So after these amazing feats we decided to take it easy for a week or so. As such we visited Koh Lanta and Ao Nang. Not much to report. Just binged and visited a few national parks (See lighthouse and monkey photos for proof). One of the monkeys actually stole a pouch of alcohol of ours, ripped it open, drunk some, hated it and threw it back at us. Just basically ticking off boxes of places to see that had been mentioned to us.

Next time - My Birthday, Cliff Diving, Fighting a Manc and Phuket

& For Teh Lulz

 P.S look at this black guy doll. He's hanging! Actually hanging. Thai's seem to think it makes a great present. My mum's going to love her gift.